


too late

by poisonrationalitie



Category: Counting On (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Femslash February, Secret Relationship, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonrationalitie/pseuds/poisonrationalitie
Summary: they ran out of time before they knew they were on a timer
Relationships: Jana Duggar/Laura DeMaisie
Kudos: 2





	too late

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how I’m feeling about this one, but I’m rapidly falling behind on Femslash February, so have this short little scene. It’s for Day 9 - Shame.

Laura’s fingers tangled in Jana’s hair. Jana’s foot was locked around hers. They nestled together on the couch of the little motel room they shared, of course adjacent to her father’s. He had to make sure no men came in and out of the room, he had to steadfastly guard their virtue, despite both of them being past thirty. It was his duty. It was part of why there was just the one bed in the room, too – by his reasoning, there was less chance of them getting up to any mischief. It was a built-in safeguard.

Jim Bob Duggar was never one for thinking creatively.

“It would be nice,” Laura concluded, pinky brushing Jana’s cheek. Jana opened her eyes, basking in the golden southern sunlight pouring through the window. She settled against Laura, back against her chest.

“It would be,” Jana murmured. It would be nice, but it would never happen. It was an idea stolen from somebody else’s life. It was the sort of thing one had to be born into, or to find while they were still young. She was thirty-one, and yet most of the opportunities in her life had slipped away already. She had missed the boat to marry well, to try to have the most children, to travel freely, to run away, to assert herself, to pass the buck of raising her siblings on to someone else. Now she had her garden and hidden moments in hotel rooms on holiday and the hope her parents would turn senile the moment Josie wed. Jana knocked her knees together. This was it, wasn’t it? This was what would pass for happiness for the rest of her life.

“It’s too late for us,” she said glumly, fixing her eyes on a blank part of the wall. It wasn’t a complaint. It wasn’t a question. She knew it to her barest bones, and had for some time. Laura draped her arms over Jana’s shoulders, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. Jana blinked sleepily. Her window for escape had come and gone so quickly. It had been lost in diaper changes and filming. It slipped through her fingers like a humid summer afternoon. Feverishly. Not missed until it was long past. “It’s a shame. It would’ve been nice to do life with you.” In another world, they’d realised earlier, taken off before Joy was even married, crossed state borders and sold off their secrets for a rundown apartment and started again. That wasn’t God’s plan for them here. 

Some people weren’t made to get their happy endings. The Duggars had been damned since Jim Bob laid eyes on Michelle.

Laura pulled her closer. “It’s a damn shame.”


End file.
